Better off

Woke up today,

With the pain

Of yesterday

Running through my veins.

But now I realize

I'm better,

Stronger,

Faster.

I will not let you win.

Anymore

I remember

A time,

Before

You

When life

Was simple.

Love didn't come

With expectations. 

Lies were not

A lifestyle.

 Texting

Wasn't something `

Dirty.

And I wasn't looking

Over my shoulder

Every five seconds

To see

If you were watching

Me.

Yep, the good

Old days...

Two steps forward

One step back.

I had a nightmare

Last night.

I guess it's my way

Of moving

Forward.

Even when I'm taking

Steps back,

I'm still moving on.

And that my

Dear is progress.



Lurking

In the shadows

Is not okay.

You have no right

To come

Into

MY SPACE.

I HATE YOU.

August 2009

I've seen
The truth
Now.
You will never
Understand
What you do to me,
Or maybe you do?


And you just don't care?

If that's the case
Why don't you care?


After all this time
It doesn't seem
To matter to you
That I'm hurting.

You're still hitting
Things, yelling,
Texting girls,
And telling me
It's all my fault
That you
Do those things.

Why
Is all I want to know?

Summer 2009

A blur
Of memories.

Some forgotten,
Others I'm still trying
To forget.

A lie,
Built
On top of
A million more lies.

Why can't you be honest?

Progress

I AM NOT A WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH.

You've said so many
Hurtful
Things.
And blame
ME?

I'm sorry
To say

NOTHING YOU DID
WAS MY FAULT.

You had a choice.

The Storm

Has raged
In between
What is right
And wrong
For too long.

I chose you
Time and time
Again,
Thinking
It was the right
Thing.

You and I
Both knew
It was wrong
All along.

That's why
You held
On so tight.

This time I'm choosing me.

Now.

I know the truth.
I deserve better.
You were the weak one,
Trying to bring me down
To your level.

You wanted to mold
Me
Into something
I could never be.

You never cared.
It was ALWAYS
Your way
Or you throw,
Punch, and/or kick things.

Truth:
You'll never be happy
Until you find happiness
Within yourself,
And you're too lazy to do that.

Then.

Handsome Boy,
Why are you so upset?
Please tell me....

What did I do
Wrong?

It's all my fault.
Never yours...

My truth

The day you
Said,
"I love you."
Was a day
That I thought
Could be the beginning
Of a beautiful life
Together.

I could learn
To love you.

That was my first mistake.

Love is NOT
Something
That can be taught
Or forced upon
You by anyone.

"She's a whore."

That was always

Your excuse

For everything.

You had me fooled.

Reality:

Yes, they want attention,

But the only reason

They were texting

You

Was because you were giving

It to them.

You were in the wrong.



JERK.

THATS WHAT YOU ARE.

plain and simple.

Fake

Everything we were

Was fake.

All the

"I need yous,"
"I love yous,"

And especially

The "You're my angel's"

Were all lies.

Nothing you say or do

Is true.

You can scare

People

Into submission

But sooner or later

They'll want their lives

And their control

Back,

Just like I did

It took a long

While,

But I finally got my strength

Back.